


Attack

by iceprinceloki



Series: Raw [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Gen, Hunter Dean, Mental Health Issues, Protective Dean Winchester, Rally All Writers, Raw - Freeform, Separation Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Teenchesters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:58:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7952524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceprinceloki/pseuds/iceprinceloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's first time alone in a new school brings a mental health issue to light that causes some tension, until Dean helps his baby bro out.</p><p>Rated M because it's a heavy topic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attack

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this as the second part of my RAW series, for those who don't know RAW stands for Rally All Writers and it's a movement I'm trying to start to get authors to raise awareness about mental health. Basically I want other writers to write their own experience with any mental health disorder into a SPN story, with the RAW tag, so that we can get the truth of mental health out there. I take requests, if you have a specific disorder you want me to write about comment below and I'll write it with the tag in the RAW series. If you want to write a fic for the RAW tag please let me know when it's up so that I can also read and comment!
> 
> Special thanks to Kats1997 for sharing your experience with me to help me write this story! I hope I've captured exactly what you an others go through and that you're having a good day. :)
> 
> We all deserve to be supported and accepted with all our flaws, if you share your own experience you might help someone else through their own dark times

Fourteen year old Sam stood outside the school with a churning in his belly. This would be his first day at a new school without Dean. The older boy had dropped out a month ago, so now Sam was left to fend for himself. He slowly made his way inside, trying to ignore the sick feeling in his gut as he weaved between classmates and teachers alike.

The school was so much smaller on the inside….or was he growing bigger? He wasn’t sure, it was too hot to think straight. He slipped a finger beneath his collar and pulled it away from his throat to get some air. He was sweaty and the hallway was too loud and too bright for him to tolerate. Somehow he found his way to his locker and got his books and belongings packed away without an issue. Then he just followed the crowed to his first class of the day; maths, his worst subject.

All his classmates found their seats quickly and he was left standing at the front of the room, staring at them. They all stared back, having not noticed him before then. Sam took a deep breath and noticed an open seat at the back of the classroom. Slowly he began to make his way passed his classmates to the open seat, aware of their eyes on his back the whole way.

‘Finally!’ He thought in relief as he sat down in the chair.

His classmates were all chattering, occasionally they’d look at him and then resume; which understandably made him very nervous. The teacher came in and brought all of the attention to Sam with a simple phrase.

“Good day class, we have a new student!”

 

Sam wished the seat would swallow him whole in that moment. He squirmed uncomfortably when all his classmates turned to stare expectantly at him.

“Sam why don’t you stand up and say a few words?” The teacher, Miss Artha prompted absent mindedly while unpacking her books and files.

Sam stared in horror at the faces that watched him expectantly. His breathing hitched and his vision was suddenly crystal clear, he whimpered and ducked under the desk as fast as he could; shoving his seat back loudly.

“Sam?!” Miss Artha called, walking towards him in concern. “Are you alright?”

Sam covered his ears and drew his legs up to his chest, rocking back and forth lightly and whimpering anxiously. The teacher crouched in front of him and tried to bring him out from under his desk but Sam was adamant about staying in the dark, safe spot. Tears poured down his face and he couldn’t find it in himself to speak, he couldn’t think of what the words he needed were.

“Tracey go get Mr Dwight the PE teacher’s assistant.” Miss Artha said softly to another student.

A blond haired girl got up with a sympathetic look on her face and rushed out the door. Miss Artha reached a hand out to stroke his arm lightly.

“It’s alright Sam, just take deep breaths.” She looked at the rest of her class over Sam’s desk. “The rest of you can move to your next classroom please, tell Doris I will explain later, she must teach you this period.”

Sam sobbed softly and hid his face while the other teenagers filed out of the room. He was slowly calming down and coming to realise exactly what had happened; causing his face to burn in embarrassment. He mentally chastised himself, he was such a baby for freaking out over having to speak in a classroom; he’d been speaking in classrooms for his whole school career without any issues.

The door opened and a large man walked up to them, kneeling beside Miss Artha. Out of the corner of his eye Sam saw Tracey standing nearby watching.

“Hey there kiddo, I’m Mr Dwight, your name is Sam right?” Sam didn’t answer, feeling distant and unattached to the situation. “How about coming out from under there and coming with us to the principal?” The man asked gently.

Sam allowed the two adults to guide him out from under his desk and then trudged out of the room to the principal's office with them.

On arrival Sam was settled in a chair with a glass of water and some tylenol while the adults discussed what had happened and how to handle it. Sam zoned out and tried to figure out what was wrong with him, he’d never had an episode like that before; unless you count his first kill on the hunt, but he’d just passed out after that, not had a freakout.

“Good day Mr Winchester, I’m Principal Sanders from Sam’s school.”

Sam’s neck cracked he looked up so fast, the principal was talking to his dad on the phone!! Sam felt his breathing hitch to hyperventilation and he shook his head, mouth moving soundlessly. Miss Artha and Mr Dwight were on either side of him instantly trying to calm him before he could panic again.

The principal finished his conversation and looked worriedly at the teen.

“Easy now Sam! Your dad’s coming to get you, it’ll be alright.” Principal Sander said kindly. “You alright son?”

Sam stared at him in horror. “Why would you call my dad?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, curling up on himself and hiding his face in his knees. He stayed like that while the adults talked, soothing himself and trying to mentally ready himself for the disappointment on his father's face. John Winchester didn’t do emotional episodes and hormonal outbursts, Sam knew he was in trouble for drawing attention to their family.

By the time the door slammed open and the familiar heavy footsteps approached Sam still wasn’t ready to handle the situation. He felt drained and insecure and all he wanted was to go home and curl up.

“Sam?” John said, Sam ignored him and tried to become invisible. John sighed and stroked a hand over his hair gently, surprising the teen. 

Sam looked up in confusion at his father and John thumbe his cheek softly. “Your teachers said you had a panic attack, you alright now?”

Sam nodded, still lost on what his father was playing at. John nodded and tugged his shoulder to get him on his feet. The man turned to the teachers and smiled grimly. “Thanks for calling me, I’ll see to it from here.”

“Do you want to speak to our school counsellor? She can give you some tips on how to handle further episode and help you find out how this happened.” Miss Artha asked tentatively.

“No thank you ma’am, we’ll handle this as a family on our own.”

With that John led Sam out of the school to the impala. The familiarity of the car comforted the boy and he felt his chest loosen a bit and his head clear. Instead of driving off immediately or ranting at Sam, John sat behind the wheel and bit his lip uncertainly. He glanced at Sam out of he corner of his eye and internally sighed at what he had to do next.

“You can’t tell Dean about this.”

Sam turned to his father in surprise.

“If Dean knows you’re this unhappy about going to school without him he’ll re-enroll and his focus won’t be on the hunt.” John said shortly, trying to ignore that small sounds Sam was making. “You have the weekend to figure it out and get used to the idea, then on Monday you’re coming back to school.”

“I can’t come back here Dad!” Sam pleaded in a small voice. “Everyone saw what happened, and if they didn’t see they’ll hear about it from everyone who saw! They’re going to bully me if I come back!”

“We’re here for another two months Sam, you’ll just have to suck it up and find a way to ignore those kids.”

“Dad-!”

“No Sam.” John cut him off quietly. “You need to get independant of Dean, you need to adapt to change and stop being such a wuss. It’s not so hard to come to a new school on your own, suck it up Sam.”

Sam was horrified and hurt, did his father really think he was just being a big wuss? Like he had any control over how he reacted under so much stress and nervous energy! John ignored his son’s fury and drove them back to their motel, where the teen went straight to his bed to sleep off some of the strain from his day.

When he woke up Dean was back and it was dark out, they sat around the table and ate their dinner while John and Dean discussed their hunt. Sam pushed his food around his plate and tried to think of a way out of school.

“Sammy how was school?” Dean asked casually.

Sam looked up, caught Johns stern eye and looked back down at his plate. “Fine.”

“Nobody gave you any trouble did they?” Dean said with a frown.

“No.”

“Good, anyone gives you trouble you just let me know and I’ll set them straight, got me Sammy?” Dean looked intently at his brother.

Sam looked up with a weak smile. “Yea….sure Dean...”

The weekend passed too quickly for Sam and Monday arrived before he was ready. John dropped Sam off and once inside the school the teen found eyes on him, laughter and snide remarks reached his ears as he passed in the hallway.

His eyes stung with unshed tears of humiliation and anger. Didn’t they realise he couldn’t control it? He wasn’t a wuss he was just not good under so much pressure….he wasn’t a wuss.

He grabbed his belongings from his locker and snuck back out of the school while the rest of the students rushed to their classes. He walked as fast as he could to a local park and found a shady nick to hide in. Pulling a book from his bag he began to read. He was not going back to that school.

He hadn’t been there long when a sleek black car drove up behind him and he grimaced, sure it was his dad, but he man who got out of the car wasn’t John.

“Sammy?”

Sam turned to look at his brother in surprise.

“Sam what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in school.” Dean said, approaching him and sitting down beside him.

“I don’t wanna go to school.” Sam mumbled.

“Why not?”

Silence.

“Why not Sammy?” Dean pushed harder.

“I’m not allowed to tell you Dean...Dad’ll get mad.” Sam sighed.

Dean raised his eyebrows at that. “Since when do you care whether or not dad’s happy?”

“Since it’s your happiness that’s on the line too Dean!” Sam glared at the boy.

Dean cocked his head to the side and took a deep breath. “Tell me Sam, I won’t be mad.”

Sam sighed and hugged his knees to his chest. “I missed you. I couldn’t cope there without you, I didn’t know anyone and everyone kept looking at me and I freaked out in the classroom.”

“That’s not so bad Sammy.” Dean tried to reassure him.

Sam gave him a scathing look. “I crawled under my desk and cried like a two year old.”

“Oh….” Dean looked flabbergasted. “Well you never did like change.being away from me is definitely a big change. Why couldn’t you just tell me this before? We could have worked something out Sam.”

“Dad doesn’t want you going back to school, he says you need to focus on the hunt and I’m just a wussy distraction.” Sam tried to keep the bitterness he felt out of his tone but it was clear that Dean heard it regardless.

“Look I can’t say I understand what you went through, but I know it’s because you needed me and I wasn’t there.” Dean said seriously. “We have two months here and you need to go to school. So how about we make a deal?”

Sam curiously tilted his head. “A deal?”

Dean nodded calmly. “I will drop you off, pick you up, have lunch with you and check in during the classroom switches, if you go to school with no complaints.”

“Dean everyone laughed at me today. They all know what happened and they all think I’m a baby...I can’t go back.”

“Yea? Well wait till they get a look at your big brother! No one is gonna mess with you so long as I’m around Sammy, I promise.” Dean held out his hand to shake Sam’s. "It takes time to adjust to new stuff Sam, don't be so hard on yourself. Don't listen to those freaks who think you're a loser or a wuss. I'm behind you every step of the way, and I'll do anything to help you out, I hope you know that."

Sam sighed and took his brothers hand in agreement. “Thanks Dean....but what do we tell dad?”

“Leave dad to me Sam, you just focus on doing good at school and not getting killed.”

Sam smiled gratefully at Dean. The older boy grabbed Sam’s gear and pulled him to stand up.

“Come on it’ll be lunch time right about now.” He said with a grin.

Sam frowned when they were settled in the impala and on their way to school.

“Dean? How did you know to come looking for me?”

Dean gave him a look out the corner of his eye. “The school phoned the house, said you hadn’t come to class. You’re just lucky dad wasn’t home to answer.”

Sam grinned sheepishly and hugged his brother around the middle. “Thanks Dean...”

Dean laughed awkwardly and wriggled to get out of Sam’s grip. “Okay kiddo that’s enough, I’m trying to drive here!”

“I mean it Dean...thank you so much for everything….”

Dean was quiet for a moment and then a large hand came to squeeze Sam’s shoulder. “Anything Sam.”

**Author's Note:**

> Accio Comments!


End file.
